one vacant house
people enter the vacant home
but never stay
various reasons prevent people from buying the newly built home
I look to the right
a large home sits amoungst flowers and a well groomed lawn
only one person inhabits this home
I look out and see the land where tall and untamed grass grows
where homes will one day
I loath the emptiness
I really like how you paint the picture without saying too much. Most of your lines are very short, but in each stanza, there is a longer line. If you put them all in the same place (like in the 3rd line of each stanza) or break them up to have more lines, it might make the poem easier to read.
ReplyDeleteThe ending here is provocative. Why loathe the emptiness? And what's your response to the housing crisis implicit in the first stanza? I agree w/ KJ that you don't need to be explicit here or answer these questions, but you raise big issues and don't take them very far. This seems to have enough energy to go farther.
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